As there are always humorous, epic climbing stories to be told whilst you're rocking on your "porta-ledge" some 500 metres above the deck in a nor'west gale, or worthy advice always to be gained from others misadventure, I thought it would be nice that some of these pieces could be presented here...

If you have a story, poem or song you'd like to submit please email me at graemek@xtra.co.nz.

• Whio by Joel Zwartz (2024)
• Kea Song by Joel Zwartz (2022)
• Time out by Joel Zwartz (2014)
• here's to... by Paddy Moran (2011)
• Climbing / Tramping Poems by Rod Thomson (2010)
• Tramping Songs by Rod Thomson (2010)
• 'The wild rains' by Hamish Reid (2006)
• Whillanism's by Hamish Reid (2006)
• The best laid plans... by Graeme Kates (1998)

here's to...

Paddy Moran (2011)

here's to Nothofagus
to Autumn and Eastern peaks,
to Phipps, Oates, and
Misery above the clouds.

here's to Cladia, moist and brittle.
To Cyteria gunii,
and symbiosis.
To Dracophyllum, daisies, and fell fields
To fault scarps and gendarmes, crevices,
and blue ice.

Here's to the cold that freezes the breath in your beard,
To the arrest that leaves blood on your axe,
to the 3am start,
the 10pm finish,
and the glorious moments between.

Here's to the KEA, their curiosity, humour
and lack of inhibition
Here's to feeling insignificant
on the most exposed faces,
to holding down the shakes,
to clinging on for all your worth,
and pushing on when your scared shitless.

Here's to the alpine flora
and their inhospitable home in relentless conditions
To swimming through impenetrable shrub-lands
To hoar frost, heat waves, and delirium.
To the Nor'wester
To Gaultheria, Greywacke, and Gorse
To the insect bites on your ankles,
The burn on your face,
And blood drawn by the lawyer of the bush.

Here's to braided rivers,
broken ridges,
and the spears of the Spaniard.
I tip my hat to Matagouri,
to it's grey and green,
to it's determination and defence.

Here's to the hottest valley and the coldest peak.

HERE'S TO THE RAIN,
the heavy, the light,
and the horizontal
To the rainbow and the smile it brings
Here's to being hungry, blistered, and broken in the face of it all
and coming home ruined.
And here's to wanting more
HERE'S TO THE MOUNTAINS

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