As there are always humorous, epic climbing stories to be told whilst you're rocking on your "porta-ledge" some 500 metres above the deck in a nor'west gale, or worthy advice always to be gained from others misadventure, I thought it would be nice that some of these pieces could be presented here...

If you have a story, poem or song you'd like to submit please email me at graemek@xtra.co.nz.

• Whio by Joel Zwartz (2024)
• Kea Song by Joel Zwartz (2022)
• Time out by Joel Zwartz (2014)
• here's to... by Paddy Moran (2011)
• Climbing / Tramping Poems by Rod Thomson (2010)
• Tramping Songs by Rod Thomson (2010)
• 'The wild rains' by Hamish Reid (2006)
• Whillanism's by Hamish Reid (2006)
• The best laid plans... by Graeme Kates (1998)

Whio

Joelliam Zwartzworth (2024)

This poem pays homage to "Daffodils" by William Wordsworth, hence my nom de plume. The third stanza is lifted straight from Wordsworth, but seems to be even more appropriate to whio than the original daffodils.

I wandered lonely as the cloud
That fills a Tai Poutini valley,
When all at once I heard aloud
A sound that made my spirits rally:
A dishwash bottle’s whistly squeeze,
A rattle like a buzzy bee’s!

I turned my head towards the river
Knowing what domestic bliss
Would this happy sound deliver
And sure enough, set eyes on this:
A pair of whio, right at home
Among the cataract and foam.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Outdid the sparkling waves in glee.
A poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company.
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
With dirty dishes piling high,
No laughter from my missing brood
A dearth of washing and of playing
Procrastination brain is saying,
"I wonder now if this or that’ll…."
My heart, it sings the whistle-rattle.

*******************************************************